The loud and very public (fake) orgasm scene in the 1989 movie “When Harry Met Sally” directed by Rob Reiner was constructed to empower women by demonstrating an ownership of sexual desire and knowledge of sexual gratification. The famous line “I’ll have what she’s having” earnestly requested by a patron in the café to the waitress (who is valiantly trying to “not notice” the moaning antics being displayed at the next table) was a demonstration of feminist gains in sexuality – mainly the right and acknowledgement of a woman’s enjoyment within the act and some studies on how this pleasure occurs and how to create these sensations. This acknowledgement of female sexuality and the awareness of women’s right to have sexual gratification and sexual desire was graciously depicted in the film and Columbia Pictures felt suitably philanthropic as they had strengthened the growing “Women’s Movement” AND highlighted the cultural gap in sexual equality.
However, this male authorized acknowledgement completely detracts from our right to choose and to know ourselves, to explore our likes and to awaken our own personal pleasures. Understanding of self, particularly an articulation of why an individualistic preference is such, solidifies our own identity and intrinsic knowledge of ourselves. For this reason I question, why WOULD we have “what she is having”?
Is it merely because she was making a lot of noise?
Was her display a demonstration for attention and ego gratification? As she was replicating her false, seemingly consistent behavioral pattern it appears that attention is more of a priority to her than authenticity. So again I ask, why WOULD we want to have “what she is having”?
How is it that Rob Reiner smugly gifted the female audience with the “approval” to be a sexual being and empowers us to voice our desires yet showcases the woman who does not in fact vocalize her desires or needs but instead chooses to pretend enjoyment and deny her sexual self and fulfillment?
Sally should have done a BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY SHOOT!
What does this movie have to do with Glamour Photography you ask? (I am visualizing your very puzzled expression at this point).
Glamour Photography and particularly Boudoir Photography are a style that is very popular and women of all ages are interested in having a Boudoir Photography shoot. Often they are held back by barriers such as “I’ll do it in 6 months when I have lost 5kgs” or “I am not sure, maybe I am too old to do this. I am sure this is more of a thing for younger girls” or “I don’t really have a boyfriend, I don’t have anyone to give it to”.
Ladies, you have just “Sally-ed” you are making loud, false vocalizations that deny the opportunity for intrinsic connection with yourself!
I have had the privilege to be involved in women’s photography for many years. In this time my favorite thing that I have never tired of seeing is the change and growth in the slightly to somewhat apprehensive woman as she begins to prepare for her first Boudoir Photography shoot.
In most cases the woman has wanted this for a while, she has researched styles or pictures and spent a few months going through the barriers in her mind before finally allowing herself to commit to something that she would VERY much like to experience for herself. For this reason my advice is to always bring everything that you think that you will wear plus all of those things that you do not think that you will wear. After all choices are what define us and help shape how we think and behave as well as how we view ourselves and perceive how others view us. So if the worst that you will have to do is to unpack the luggage when you return home then so be it!
Choice empowers the lady she has decisions to make that will shape her shoot and demonstrate her knowledge of how she wishes to be seen. This is fundamental as each Boudoir Photography shoot tells the tale of you and your own individuality, who you are, how you are and what will be revealed to immortalize your most beautiful self as you have never seen before.
I also share with women that because the soul is captured in every expression in your eyes, your face that tells a tale. That young girls as pretty as they are should choose Glamour Photography over Boudoir Photography as it takes a woman who has lived, who has experienced and who has knowledge of herself to truly own the Boudoir.
Curves, the sensual swells and lush shapes that characterize a woman’s form are really showcased in Boudoir Photography. Imagine a holiday and you are driving to your holiday destination in the country side enjoying the spring weather, the taste of freedom in the air and the scenery is a rich tapestry of undulating and fertile hills. Compare this to driving in summer baking in the harsh heat of a beige desert as far as the eye can see.
In the natural environment lushness, curves, swells and mounds are all beauties that draw the eye, hold the gaze and create an idyllic picturesque landscape. The kind of place that encourages people to want to stay longer … or to inspire letters to loved ones to tell of the beautiful view.
Women’s curves and all the glorious “wobbles” that Womanhood gifts to us abundantly – mainly to render men speechless (or helpful in the kitchen!) are merely cause to celebrate and how the camera loves to celebrate your beauty and booty!
So ladies, come as you are!
Boudoir Photography is an experience like no other. Seeing yourself at your most beautiful in varying angles and poses is an awakening and an emotive experience that empowers and strengthens to your core. To recognize your beauty and to see yourself not to criticize but as the wondrous being that we all are and were created to be. Usually results in tears of disbelief and then joy as their inner critic begins to be dissolved, this gift is for you. Who needs to give it to a man? When you see yourself and you recognize your true self you will find that you will release the need for such petty validations such as a man signing off on your desirability.
Because ladies, let’s be real. When push comes to shove, sheep have been the chosen outlet, so having a man’s approval is really not indicative of your desirability as men will choose function over form if the need arises!
If you don’t have a boyfriend? That’s awesome, less people for you to share your beautiful photos with and more for you. You have just invested in ensuring that when life knocks your confidence, all you need to do is to look at one of those photos to remind yourself of
who you know you are, and the knock becomes a mere blip on the radar as you conquer and slay.
For the last time I ask ladies, why would you ever want “What she is having?” Why would you ever sell your potential so short and limit it to the scope of someone else’s? Just as we create our own makeup look and choose our favorite pieces of lingerie these choices showcase who we are and vary in every woman because all women are individual and all Boudoir Photography shoots will highlight your special uniqueness and interweave it into your beauty. When you know who you are you don’t notice what other women are eating as your eyes only focus on your menu.
Eagerly viewing the choices on display.
Will you choose your choice or somebody else’s?
For more information on Boudoir and Glamour Photography visit
Mike Beltrametti photography – Glamour Photography Perth
Written by Michelle French